What’s in the Name

I had a moment of realization today that what may have started off as a self-deprecating joke, as is often my way, may have more truth to it than initially thought.  When I first bought my Xbox 360, I came up with the screen name bad_gamer83.  One of my good friends found it funny and we continued on.  Today it hit me, due to my growing “pile of shame” and continuing habit of not finishing anything, and jumping from game to game, I actually may be a bad gamer.

Pile-of-Shame-Video-Games-02

As time lapsed since sticking to the name, to my dismay, I realized the name may be a bit of a repellent to other gamers who I try to connect with outside of the games I play.  I tell people my name and they mostly say nothing, the most recent, and probably longest response from someone on social media was “oh, well there you go”.  As shy and quiet as I can be, it was never my intent to repel fellow game-players.  This hasn’t been proven, of course, but it is a pretty solid theory.

My gaming habits have tended to follow other patterns in my life.  There would be excitement about the game, followed by brief but intense affairs and ending with me moving on to a different game, or one that was safe and familiar.  I do believe the last RPG I actually finished was “Mass Effect 3”.  There’s a lot to be said that I finished “Firewatch” within four hours and celebrated.  Unfortunately, this also has resulted in a form of hording –though trading in games tends to keep the literal pile small, though still ever-growing.  Even if a “new” game is easy, I tend to get nervous and drop off and just go back to what is familiar.

broken dual shock 4

Today I semi-committed to finishing “Fallout 4”.  I’ve never played through a Fallout game before and the franchise has always interested me.  It’s my way of taking another step in an actually important life-altering thing: stepping outside of my comfort zone.  Am I actually a “bad gamer”?  I think so.  Over the years, I kind of have become an undertaker of many, master of none.  It’s a label I want to stop living up to.

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